The Appointment
by Cirrat
Summary: Pein decimated Konoha and shinobi living in the cluster of temporary huts hear strange noises in the night. But what has Iruka to do with it? Mild language, hints of yaoi.


_Yup, I did a T-rated fic! I don't believe it myself, so don't give me a hard time over it. This is another from Naruto-verse one-shots and most probably will not be continued. But I never say never…_

_Still, there are some words and some hints (but no open imagery) concerning homosexual whatever. So if you are a homophobe, clicky Back :-)_

_This fic was completed as a contest entry for Kiterie :-)_

***

Kakashi stretched, sitting on a roof top, and overlooked the village beneath him. Or, more like the ruins of the village.

After Pein's attack and getting rid of Danzo, there were not many buildings left untouched. Even the Hokage tower was all cracked and the Hokage's office was moved out.

The silver-haired ninja scratched his neck and yawned.

It was a good thing that Tsunade woke up from her coma, he mused, although the angry shouting and sounds of her fist impacting with the ground, when she learned of Danzo's move and claiming of the Hokage title, well, this was unpleasant to say the least.

It didn't take long to obtain the permission to kill him afterwards.

The man looked at his hands and carefully picked a speck of dirt from underneath a nail. His pride demanded that he confronted the self-instated Rokudaime straight on, with Naruto on his side.

Instead of that they worked with Tenzo, just like in the old times.

When the bandaged man fell asleep, the wood handler crouched under the window extended the vines from Danzo's own bed and captured his limbs.

Kakashi used several poisoned senbons, just to be sure. There were several antidotes that could be taken regularly, to prevent the more common poisons from killing the victim outright and so the Copy-nin used few of the exotic ones. And combined them. And, to be on the safe side, after the older man turned blue and stopped breathing, he slit his throat.

Tenzo returned the bed to its original state and both men disappeared like the shadows they were hiding in.

And now the nin was sitting on the roof of the Academy, which was turned into accomodations for some of those who lost their homes, basking in the last sunrays and just relaxing. Of course, there were still patrols to be taken and training to be done, with the Konoha's great walls being damaged and torn down, exposing them to any possible enemy more than was healthy; then there were the clean-up and rebuild works to be done.

Everybody participated, from civilian kids picking up small items and sorting them out, to high-classed ninjas removing big boulders and wooden beams.

Tenzo's abilities were really handy now. He was creating simple wooden huts, just like he used to do on the missions, only now they were used for housing homeless ninjas. And there were many.

The Academy was mostly full of civilians, who needed running water and electricity, the ninjas on the other hand just needed some place to keep their things dry. After all, they were trained to do without the comfort of a hot bath and electrical heating.

Kakashi grimaced. Not that he didn't miss his hot showers every morning, or such a simple thing as was a cup of freshly brewed coffee in his own home. Or reading his book late at night with a good light instead just a flickering flame of a candle. Tough luck. He stood up and decided to go and see Genma.

The tokubetsu jounin always had fresh rumours, good sake and new jokes.

***

Some hours later he, Genma and Raidou were sitting on the floor of the senbon-wielding nin, when the moaning started.

Somebody in one of the neighbouring huts sighed and moaned in bliss and Kakashi cocked his head to a side and raised his eyebrow.

Genma whispered, "That's at Iruka's. He's such a whore..."

"Now, Genma, that's not nice," Raidou drank his sake.

The masked jounin continued to stare, waiting for the explanation.

"There's always this moaning late in the afternoon and it goes on and on during the whole evening. It comes from Iruka's." Both men noted that Genma used really low voice.

"So?" Kakashi seemed unfazed.

"Well, it's usually several people throughout the evening, not only one. See, I wouldn't mind whatever he does in his free time, but this is too much! Sometimes I can't even sleep!"

The scarred sword master laughed, "So why don't you tell him to tone it down?"

The dark-haired man sighed, blushing. "See, that's just too embarrassing. I mean, should I come to him and say 'Iruka, when you're whoring, shut your partners up so that I can sleep at night'? Besides, he has to know that anybody can hear it. When somebody sneezes, twenty people wish him gesundheit and when anybody farts, twenty people laugh or tell him off. That's no way he could miss that!"

Kakashi chuckled and continued to pry, "Well, but why are you so concerned about Iruka whoring? Since when are you so delicate that something like that disturbs you? I mean, the noise bothers you, go and buy some earplugs, or bring somebody in and make your own concert. Hell, make it a competition, who's better, or something. And how do you know it's the teacher anyhow? Couldn't you mistake him for somebody?"

Just at that moment the voice from outside moaned "Iruuukaa... Oh Kami, you're great!"

Kakashi continued without missing a beat, "Okay, on the other hand, that's hard to mistake."

Genma smirked. "Yeah. And this will go for the whole evening now. Still, come on, he's a _teacher_. He teaches _kids_. Can you imagine what will the parents say if they find out?"

Raidou refilled his cup and snorted, "Still, since when are _you_ so concerned about the morality of others? I say, what they don't know, can't hurt them – and can't hurt him. Besides, if it goes on and on for evenings every day, do you really think it's some momentary matter? How long it is already?"

The senbon user drank his cup. "Basically since we moved here. That's what, three weeks?"

Kakashi interrupted: "Three weeks? Every single night? For hours?"

Genma nodded.

"Now, that's _some_ stamina! I wonder if I should try him out, I always had this fantasy about being a naughty boy and sensei punishing me..." The Sharingan user noted offhandedly.

The tokubetsu jounin scowled. "Damn, Kakashi, I didn't need that!"

Raidou laughed and continued to whisper: "So that means he didn't start it when he moved here. And if he was doing this before and nobody found out, that means it's not colliding with his work. So just let it be and don't worry."

The moaning stranger chose this moment to say "Fuck, Iruka, I think I love you!"

Another voice, which Kakashi recognised as that of the brown-haired Chuunin, although it seemed to be a little out of breath, replied, "Yeah, you all say that, but you come back only when you need me and nobody's around, Aoba."

Both men laughed and probably the Academy sensei did something really amazing, because the next mewl was verging on scream.

Genma nearly choked on his sake. "Oh Kami. This is getting too much to handle."

The three nin in his hut could hear Iruka chuckling and telling the man to tone it down.

The Copy-nin laughed and asked, "So, have you already found out who's visiting him?"

After whirling his senbon and putting it back to his mouth, the fair-haired man replied, "No, actually I haven't. I was always just trying to leave or tune it out, I guess."

Raidou nodded, "So let's stay and try to figure it out tonight. That's gonna be some fun."

***

Pleasantly buzzed Kakashi opened the door of his hut and chuckled, as the memories of the evening played in his head again.

They had a good talk and Genma's reaction to the sounds coming from Iruka's place were just too amusing. They recognised two more voices, one of Iwashi, his colleague from the academy, but the other one really shocked them.

Iruka's third visitor for the night was nobody else than Huuga Hiashi. Well, that definitely handled the question of _'What would the parents do.'_ The man, who always had certain icy qualities about him, evidently turned into the same puddle of goo as the two men before him, whatever it was Iruka did to them.

Kakashi paused to think as he undressed slowly.

The Chuunin was definitely pretty fiery and tough teacher, from what he heard, but he would never guess that the man would be so talented.

The Copy-nin shook his head. He would never ever expect the tall clan leader to beg for more, as the Academy teacher went on with his actions, telling the Hyuuga to relax or it will hurt more than necessary.

Hell, probably even Jiraya, the author of Kakashi's favorite Icha Icha series, could learn something from him.

The silver-haired man laid down on the wooden floor and snuggled into his blankets, but instead of falling asleep, pictures of a certain tanned man rolled through his mind and he found himself wondering whether the tan was acquired or Iruka's natural skin-colour. Shooing such thoughts – and images – out of his head and trying to contemplate his duties for the next day, Kakashi soon found himself imagining whether or not Iruka shaved. And where.

The Jounin flipped in his nest of blankets and desperately tried to think about missions, but missions made him think about mission reports, writing them, submitting them, submitting them to one Umino Iruka...

The man was suddenly driving him crazy. Why?

Just because he heard some people the coffee-eyed teacher made mewl with pleasure? And shouldn't he be rather disgusted with the fact that it was several people and, according to Genma, about half of the damned village? Certain parts of his body clearly didn't think so. "Damn."

***

He left for a mission the next day and hadn't come back for a few weeks.

When he approached the gates he could see the repairs advanced a lot and on his way to the temporary Hokage office he could see that many streets were cleaned already. He looked at the field behind Academy only to see that a lot of the wooden huts were taken down already, meaning that a lot of shinobi found some more permanent lodgings.

After his short debriefing with the Hokage she decided to give him a medical check-up on the spot, knowing how much he detested hospitals. The only thing she found were his immensely tensed shoulder muscles that caused him quite some unpleasant pains and headaches.

As he closed the zipper on his standard vest, he was shocked by her next sentence:

"Hatake, you need to go and see Iruka-sensei."

He choked. "Wh… What?"

Tsunade was oblivious to his obvious discomfort. "That man is honestly a god-send. He was helping us so much, taking about half of the cases with neurosis and slight bruising off our hands. I wish there were more people like him in this village."

Kakashi was glad that his mask kept his jaw from falling down to his knees. "You're serious…"

The blonde looked at him and smiled. "Of course I am. Come on, brat, you need to unwind and Umino will be perfect for you."

The silver-haired nin sweatdropped. This was not possible. He could not believe that the _Hokage_ was pimping the brown-eyed chuunin.

The woman in front of him frowned at him and crossed her arms on her ample chest. "You are to go and set an appointment with him right now. I will ask him today, Hatake, and you will be in trouble if I found out you haven't set the appointment or failed to appear for it. And then you will be in a deep shit, brat. Seriously. Now shoo. Just ask anybody around where he is, I think he's doing some house calls too before the Academy gets opened again."

He closed his mouth with a silent snap and left her office much faster than was his customary lazy walk.

Hokage. Basically telling him to get laid. And telling him to go to the Academy teacher. And promising him that she will _check on him_.

This was too surreal.

Kakashi shook his head. Well, if he didn't want to get into trouble, he'd better set that… That 'appointment'. He snorted silently. That meant he had to find out the whereabouts of the man with the deliciously tanned skin. Maybe this whole thing wasn't going to be that bad.

As fate had it, his self-proclaimed Eternal Rival was the first to meet him on the street. "Hello, my Youthful Rival! We still have to settle the issue of our challenges!"

The Sharingan user interrupted him before he could get into another tirade. "That's all nice, Gai, but I have to set an appointment with Umino-san. You wouldn't know where he is, would you?"

The Awesome Green Beast of Konoha positively gaped. "You? An appointment with Iruka-sensei? How?"

Kakashi shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. The Hokage sent me to him – not that I can imagine what good should it do to me, but I cannot disobey her directly, can I?"

Gai stopped gaping and boomed in his loud voice. "Ah, of course, my honored rival! There are simply some things no man can do alone." He grinned knowingly.

The silver-haired ninja was sure that he was blushing. Fortunately, only a sliver of his face was exposed, so nobody could notice.

"No need to feel ashamed, my most modern and hip rival! This is not a disgrace! After all, I use Iruka-san's services no less than twice a week!"

Damn! Gai noticed!

Kakashi was positive now that even his backside sweatdropped at the moment. Gai and Iruka, well now that was one unwanted image picture.

The green-clad man turned and started to walk down the street. "Come with me, my youthful rival! I shall take you to Iruka-san immediately!"

The last Hatake decided at this moment that Kami-sama probably hated his guts, sighed and followed the broad back of taijutsu master, whipping his favorite book out after few steps and trying to tune out the man's tirade about how the teacher will positively spoil him.

First the Hokage and now Gai. Was it something in the village water reservoirs? Or a mass-effect genjutsu? Or maybe he was under a genjutsu himself?

***

Fortunately the walk wasn't a long one.

The chuunin in question just happened to be at the market, shopping.

And of course, the first thing that happened was Gai's booming voice announcing to the whole village, "Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei! My esteemed and hip rival needs to set up an appointment with you!" Just like that. As if he was asking somebody to spar with him.

To Kakashi's endless amazement, the Academy teacher simply thanked the vendor he was talking to before and turned to face them. "An appointment, Hatake-san? Why, I'm honored. How comes?"

The ex-ANBU was definitely feeling uncomfortable and out of his league now. "Well, I'm just back from a mission and the Hokage told me I need to unwind and sent me to you and she will check today and Gai knew where you were…" He trailed off uncertainly. Damn it again. He knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop himself. This had to be some kind of cosmic prank! _He was out-perved in his own village!_

The young sensei laughed, "Now now, nearly everybody is nervous during their first time, but I promise you I'll make it worth your while."

The silver-haired jounin felt completely mortified. Such a delicate wording – and yet it seemed that he woke up to find his home totally perverted. And that wasn't a good thing, nope sir. He opened his mouth to protest the 'first time' only to close it again, resembling a fish.

"It looks like I have some free time right now, so how about we look into your matter?" The brown-haired man looked at him quizzically. "You know, to get it out of the way, Hatake-san."

This was not happening. This was definitely not happening. Sure, he was dreaming about this man since he heard the voices of his clients in Genma's hut, but somehow this had an unreal tinge.

Hatake Kakashi, the notorious Copy-Cat ninja, the Sharingan wielder finally admitted to himself that he was a hopeless romantic and the brash way this whole…situation continued was crushing his ideals beyond the means of saving.

Not that he would enjoy making some balcony scene or serenading the tanned man, but being told about 'first times' in the middle of the market and in front of _Gai_ of all the people definitely left a bitter taste in his mouth. He wanted this man and now he was going to have him – but under what conditions?

The chuunin was right. Better to get it out of the way immediately. Obey the Hokage, report the completed task and then forget about it.

The silver-haired man nodded curtly and whipped his Icha-Icha book out again trying to tune out his environment one more time. He wasn't successful.

"So, I will see you on Friday as usual, Gai-san?" The velvety baritone was definitely getting under his defenses.

"Yosh! I will make sure to be on time for our appointment, Iruka-sensei! After your last treatment I will surely hold up until the end of week!" Gai's deep bass was positively grating on Kakashi's nerves for some reason.

"Good, good." Umino Iruka chuckled a bit and turned to the Copy nin. "Please follow me, Hatake-san."

They walked to the wooden huts in silence, people greeting the Academy teacher now and then, until the chuunin stopped in front of one of the wooden construction.

They walked in and the long-haired man turned to face him again. "Now, Hatake-san, I need you to undress down to your underwear."

Kakashi was probably too shell-shocked at the first place to react properly anymore. "Why?"

The sensei laughed. "Well, the treatment is not possible with clothes on, but I will let you keep your underwear for starters."

The silver-haired ninja swallowed noisily.

"You do have underwear, don't you, Hatake-san?" The coffee-eyed shinobi was looking at him strangely.

His only reaction was to shake his head mutely.

Iruka-sensei sighed and went to a cupboard. After a bit of rummaging around he passed Kakashi a fluffy white towel. "Okay, wear this instead. Once you are done, come through this door." He turned around and sashayed across the room to the door he indicated. He walked through it and closed it behind him with a soft 'click'.

The masked jounin stared after him for a while, unable to get the sway of those slender hips out of his mind, then sighed and started to unzip his vest again. Just what had he done to get into such a position? One should really be careful what he wishes for…

A few minutes later the silver-haired head peeped around the door, only to find the chuunin waiting for him in a black sleeve-less shirt and a pair of black sweatpants.

Iruka motioned the Copy nin to come inside the room and close the door behind him. "Now, I want you to lay face down over there."

Kakashi followed the slender finger pointing someplace to his right. He couldn't believe his eyes.

To his right stood a purple massage table, complete with the head rest, and a battery of oils stood in a metal basket under it.

The black-clad chuunin already crouched near to it and selected one of the bottles. "Unscented, right? It's good that Tsunade-sama let me restock it from the hospital." He heard something strange and turned to his visitor. "Hatake-san, are you alright?"

The jounin slid down the door and sat on the floor in the black mask and white fluffy towel, laughing like a madman and gasping for air occasionally.

All Iruka ever did was to give a massage to anybody who needed it.

***

_As you've probably noticed from the way I let them deal with Danzo, this fic was started quite some time ago. On Nov19 2009 to be precise – so let's pretend the rest had not happened._

_And if you read my other fic, Diplomacy, then you noticed the similarity in the massage scenes. I actually tried it out on this one before including it there._

_Also, please don't get too much used to two posts in one day – I cannot guarantee that this will happen in the future again, unless it's a multi-chap. I make a point to complete those before I start posting them._

_So, see you around – and remember: review make a happy author who likes to write more. Yes, that's a blackmail!_


End file.
